My son Judan Jack Jones

Happy christmas judan

This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Judan jack Jones who was born asleep in United Kingdom on August 22, 2005. Judan you have a big brother who misses you every day called Ross, and a baby sister who never got to meet you.  We think about you every day, you will always remain in our heartsxxx We love you Judanx

                            

JUDAN


The first time i met you,
You were coming out of your mother.
We had lost our son,
Ross had lost his brother.
I looked at you,
I looked at your mum.
I begged the midwives, They said "nothing can be done"
I took you to oneside,
And stared at you.
I could not believe that this was true.
I kissed you on your little chubby face,
And told myself " you were just too good for this place"
We took you home for just a few hours,
We wanted to keep you, 
Why not you were ours.
At 10 o,clock Adrian came to take you away,
We came to see you the very next day.
The time we spent together quickly passed by,
I,ve asked loads of questions,
But i still dont no why.
I always wonder what you,d be like 20 years from now,
You,d have been great,
I just no this somehow.
And now were here in this church,
We cant explain how much it hurts.
Theres only 1 thing i know,
No-one lives forever.
So its goodbye for now my son,
We,ll all soon be together.
xxxxx

           O precious, tiny, sweet little one
You will always be to me.
So perfect, pure, and innocent
Just as you were meant to be.
We dreamed of you and of your life
And all that it would be.
We waited and longed for you to come.
And join our family.
We never had the chance to play,
To laugh, to rock, to wiggle.
We long to hold you, touch you now
And listen to you giggle.
I'll always be your mother,
He'll always be your dad.
You will always be our child,
The child that we had.
But now you're gone...but yet you're here
We'll sense you everywhere.
You are our sorrow and our joy,
There's love in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong
We'll forget you never--
The child we had, but never had
And yet will have forever! 

                     
......oooO.......... ....
.....(....).....Oooo ...
......)../.....(.... )....
.....(_/.......)../. ....
...............(_/.. .....

These are my footprints,
So perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints,
Never touched the ground at all.

Not one tiny footprint,
For now I have my wings.
These tiny footprints were meant,
For other things.

You will hear my tiny footprints,
In the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
Of joy and not from pain.

You will see my tiny footprints,
In each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
If you just give me a chance.

You will see my tiny footprints,
In the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
And call each one that grieves.

Most of all, these tiny footprints,
Are found on mommy's heart.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll NEVER truly part 
The sweetest tribute 
From Emma & drew             
                                    
    













No one remembers,
I cannot say why
Only thing I keep thinking
Is that nobody tried

We shared so much
In our short time together,
And the time that we shared
Has made memories forever

So much I learned,
So much I lost -
Everything turned, toppled
And tossed

Butterfly flutters, then turns
And kicks . . .
Then, that sad day . . .
Was my mind playing tricks?

No cry, no movement,
not even a Breath . . .
As you lay on my tummy -
Perfect even in death

When I think of you now
At the age you would be,
A beautiful "big boy"
Is the child I see

My son you were,
My son you'll always be
And One -
That is us;
You and Me

love you my little angel
xxxxx 

                                               
                                                                    
          I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief.
I lost my child today.
I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream
This can't be real--I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.
I lost my child last year.
Now people who had came, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.
Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today                 
                          
               
          

SON

I carried you in hope,
the long nine months of my term,
remembered that close hour when we made you,
often felt you kick and move
as slowly you grew within me,
wondered what you would look like
when your wet head emerged,
girl or boy, and at what glad moment
I should hear your birth cry,
and I welcoming you
with all you needed of warmth and food;
we had a home waiting for you.
you came. You did not cry.
You did not breathe.
We had not expected this;
They will say that you did not live,
register you as stillborn.
but you lived for me all that time
in the dark chamber of my womb,
and when I think of you now,
perfect in your little death,
I know that for me you are born still;
I shall carry you with me forever,
my child, you were always mine,
you are mine now.
Death and life are the same mysteries.
sleep tight sonxxx
  

     
   



This yearning in my heart
This confusion in my mind
The words left unspoken
Haunts me all the time

Everyday I watch pass by
With an emptiness in my life
And a hole in my heart
Where only you belong

There are nights I wake up crying
And wishing you were here
To hold me in your arms
And kiss away my tears

There is something that keeps me holding on -
What I'll never know
But one day things will go my way
And I'll have you in my arms



Do you look down at me in the night
Do you see my candle burning so big and so bright
The candle I burn that reminds me of you
The candle I hope that you would burn too.
Not a day goes by where I don't think of you
hoping that you'd come back so the days won't be blue.
I feel no one understands me, apart from you.
I go to your grave expecting a response
to the pointless questions I can't get across.
Though sometimes In my mind I forget that you're dead
but I'll make sure you keep living in my head
I love you so much it makes me so sad
that I can't hear you say it back - the one thing that would make me glad.
You probably think I'm silly when we didn't even know each other
But to me you'll always be my brother. 
love you judanxx
ross & mary lou..



You are gone.
You are at rest.
But were still here.
Trying to do our best.
Holding on to memories you left us with.
Trying not to cry when we think of this.
Meeting you was the very best of times
loosing you is the worst that could of happend.
And even thought I try hard not to cry.
When I remember you my eyes start pouring
like rain coming down the sky.
Every body misses you and every body will.
But you know what?
This was god's will.
Why di this have to happen.
Cause there is no turning back.
Lets just hope that we all go to the same place that he has. 





As they handed you to me to hold
my eyes filled up with tears,
I had planned on spending lots of time
with you for many years.
But the angels came and took you
as soon as you arrived,
and I was left to sift through all my grief
which has left me old and tired.
To stand and watch my daughter
lay her son to rest,
Was one of the hardest days within my life
and has put my faith to test.
But we know that your with family today
in the beautiful sky above,
Rest peacefully, my precious baby, judan
I'll see you soon


The death of a baby is like a stone cast into the stillness of a quiet pool;
the concentric ripples of despair sweep out in all directions,
affecting many, many people

Rest now Little one
On angels knees you play.
Mommy and Daddy will be with you
To hold you again one day.
Our time together so short
We filled it with hugs.
We tried to protect you
But could only give you our love.
Rest now Little one
On angels knees you play.
Mommy and Daddy do miss you
Every minute, every day.
Rest now Little one
On angels knees you play.
Mommy and Daddy are crying
We carry so much pain.
Rest now Little one
On god's knee you play.
What is it you're telling us?
Up in heaven, you're okay.
Our final goodbye
The time never right.
Mommy held you so close
Rest now Little one
On God's knee you play.
Forever our Angel
To show us the way.




judan jack jones
you were the most perfect baby in the world,
you had 10 little fingers 
and 10 little toes.
we never got to hear you cry,
we never got to see you smile.
All we can ever do is imagine,
how you would have been.
I cant wait untill the day that we meet,
i will hold you in my arms,
and never let you go.
i think about you every day,
i will never forget about you.
I love you so much.
love mummyxxx

        


ONE SWEET DAY, This was 1 of the songs we had played at your funeral baby, I can never listen to this song without crying x Sleep tight lil man x


                Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away

Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be togetherOne sweet day

Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

Sorry I never told you
All I wanted 



We lost you just two years ago,
A sorrow that still sings
Of all the tears and emptiness
The loss of loved ones brings.
Your day of birth and burial
Turned out by chance the same,
And so each year when it comes round
We feel both joy and pain.

Our sadness comes from missing you,
And missing you from love,
And love from all the love in you
That we became part of.

Your love is still alive in us,
We feel it ever new;
Our mourning's filled with happiness
By memories of you.

You were my First Little Angel
Few understand how special you are
For the lives that you touched you meant so much
I felt you grow, you gave me a glow
The day that you left me I felt so sad
my little darling so did your dad
You were only here a short time
but I sure loved you for you were mine
The day I meet God,
I will thank him for my Little Angel above
Not everyone has an Angel to Love
your special daddy has an Angel in you 
There are only a few blessed with an
Angel like you.









Your footprints and handprints,
you had such big hands and feet,
you were a big boy when you were born,
you weighed 8lb 4 oz.
but you looked so much bigger.
You had blue eyes. we got the midwives to 
open your eyes for us.
you had beautiful eyes.
That is the only chance we got to see you with your eyes open
xxxxxxxx

                 



Mothers were chosen, each child to conceive:
Each child would be given a chance to acheive.
That portion of live, no matter how brief,
To be a real person, to prove his belief.
To prove that all people born to this earth,
Are children of God, each life of great worth.
Some would be fathers, and some would be mothers,
Still others are born to be sisters or brothers.
Sometimes a life ends before it's begun,
Dreams are broken for that son.
The name had been picked for a girl or a boy,
Even bought furniture, nappies and toys.
And now all that is left is the hurt and the pain,
Good people try to help, then they try to explain.
Some say "It just wasn't meant to be",
Some say "Wait awhile, you'll forget, you'll see".
But deep in the hearts of the father and mother,
Is the image a child unlike any other.
The image of that child lives on in their hearts.
The need is real, their love to impart.
To impart to that child,
Their love and their giving.
The image of that child,
In their hearts will be living.
You will live on in our hearts--
we will love you always....
mummy and daddy






You started out as a tiny miracle
Made from the deepest love I've ever known
Every minute you were with me
Growing and kicking inside your private home

At night I would wonder who you'd look like
And map out all of our plans
I would go over every single detail
From a baby boy to a great big man

Don't eat this, don't drink that
I watched everything I did
You were going to be perfect and healthy
Just the greatest little kid

Who could ask for anything more
My life was all complete
A loving husband, a warm home, and a baby
My heart could not miss a beat
we will never ever forget you
Even though you are out of our sight
It's so hard for us to face the day
Because you were still our son
we Love and Miss You,
Mommy  and daddy




An Angel is what he is to me
That's what he was truly meant to be
As his time on earth has past
His memory will always last
He was put to the ultimate test
Now it's time for him to restSo as he goesHeaven only knows
That he was more
Than you or me
Because an Angel is what
He was truly meant to be
xxxxxx




WHY

Why did it happen so fast, so out of the blue?
Was it something I did or didn't do?
Why God, Why did we have to say goodbye?
Did I fail you in such a way it caused him to die?
What if I had chosen to go to a different hospital that day?
Would what happened, happen anyway?
Why didn't I know that something was really wrong?
Why didn't I follow my intuition all along?
What am I supposed to do with all this pain?
Will the tears ever stop falling like a heavy rain?
Why am I sad knowing that he's in peace and comfort?
Will you tell me why I was chosen to bare this hurt?


SLEEP TIGHT MY LITTLE ANGEL

Your  face is painted like a picture,
imprinted on my heart forever.
It helps to keep me together many a day,
All this time were seperated apart.
I wish we could be together again, holding you,
Yet alone and without you, what am i to do.
I go to bed feeling quite lonley and blue,
 And close my eyes, and think of you.
As i give in to sleep and rest my eyes,
You are in my thoughts the second i rise.
Even though were so far apart,
You will always remain in my heart.
FOREVERxx

                               

I have come
To realize
That time is so dear
When you are no
Longer here
I cling to memories,
Sweet bitter memories
That brings you near
If only
I can touch you again
Without bringing back the pain
Feeling your presence
That you are not really
Very far away
That would bring back
The joy and magic
Of being again
TJust a whisper away.ogether
I know you are

        


                                          

I never feel the sun…
I never feel the rain…
All I feel is pain…
Since you’ve gone.

My son I miss you so…
I never thought you’d go…
Before me.

You are so loved…
You are so missed

From the very beginning I loved you,
As I made plans to hold you and rock you:
You were tiny and helpless as you lay in my womb,
But something went wrong and soon you were gone;
My young heart was broken, my tears fell like rain,
I'd never known such heartache and pain.

I wonder who you look like, me or your dad,
Do you have my smile and his eyes?
Would you have been big and tall or tiny and small?
We had dreams for you that reached to the skies.
It was long, long ago and I still miss you so,
Thanks to Jesus, I'll see you in heaven. 


MY LITTLE MAN



I felt your presence there inside of me,
nestled soft and warm;
Sweet scent of baby's breath,
precious words left unadorned.

I saw your tiny heartbeat,
then I knew that you were fine;
A perfect baby we created,
one that would be mine.

Then that tragic day it came
there was nothing I could do,
Only wait and hope
for the precious life of you.

Yes in the beginning
your daddy was afraid;
Only he would love you unconditional
and never run away.

He loved you more this I do know,
as he cried for you that day,
When the doctor said that you were gone,
daddy wanted you to stay.

He would have held you close to him,
and see your perfect form,
A gift of daddy's love,
would have kept you safe and warm.

Only now you are an angel over me
beautiful and bare,
My heart would hurt if you cried for me
and mommy was not there.

Still we are together in my heart and memories,
You are still a part of my memory.

Rest gentle now 'sweet baby' there is no pain
you are never alone,
I know you are with the guiding angels
in you peaceful home.

I will come with you someday
only now is not my time,
Then we will be together again
again you will be mine.